Why Stop Now?

So I finished making that last post and eating my celebratory pizza but I couldn’t help noticing that the sun, although setting, was still shining. I hemmed and hawed a bit then finally found enough sense to say fuck it. I changed my clothes and unwrapped my kayak from its blue tarp cocoon. I wiped it down for spiders, strapped on the little two wheeled buggy, grabbed my paddle, life jacket, ipod, and straw hat and off I went. The final leg of a perfect spring day trifecta (I’m counting the pizza) was underway.

The water was quite high due to the melting snow and the early week nor’easter. I saw two ducks, a goose, and a muskrat. The wily cows eluded me. I paddled upstream so that I could drift through the flooded forest. I love how the setting sun reflects off the still water and lights up the woods. It turns everything so gold that it becomes almost mauve, if that makes any sense.

The sun finally dropped below the trees and with it the temperature. But that’s okay, it is after all, April in Maine and that’s to be expected.

I love nice weather.

Spring Has Sprung

Today was the first truly nice day this spring. Clear blue sky, warm breeze, and on a Friday no less. Then as luck would have it our network was crashed at the old slag pile so we couldn’t do much. By nine thirty I figured out something I could do. By ten they sent everyone home. I stayed till noon because I had something to do then I too ran free from the windowless cube.

What a great feeling after all these weeks of bullshit weather. I got home, went in my shed, and stood staring at all the junk. I had no idea what to do, all I knew was I wanted to be out of doors. I contemplated cleaning the shed just for an excuse to hang outside. I moved a rake. I put an old coffee maker in a garbage bag.

My eyes kept turning towards my bike hanging from the rafters like a purple and green knobby mud bat. Finally I found enough sense to say fuck it, go in and change, and come out and take the first official ride of the season. Holy crap that felt good.

I love nice weather.

"...not a single luxury"

Here it is, the beginning of April and we have a snow storm. By my calculations it was the largest single accumulative precipitation event this winter, and it was in fucking April.

At five twenty nine I sat up in bed, one minute before my alarm was scheduled to go off. While I sat looking at the red blurry numbers they suddenly went black. No more power. I looked out the window and said out loud for only my old cat to hear, "holy crap".

There was about ten inches of snow out there where only a day before there was nothing but wet dead grass. At my house if there's no power there's no water. I can live with a lack of heat, but, a lack of water is beyond my capacity.

While I waited for the power to come back on I went out and shoveled out my buried car. I came in to find the same lack of power. I finally decided to add a fresh coat of deodorant, some clean clothes, a baseball cap, and brush my teeth out of a glass of water and go to work. Not my first choice but one I felt I had to make.

It was a long day. When the proverbial whistle blew and I was allowed to go home I walked into the same powerless place I had left. Did I mention that at my house no power means no water? I asked around and found that it was likely that the power wouldn't be returning that day. I decided the Comfort Inn was the place for me.

They have cable TV. They even have HBO. Did you know that HBO has some show about swinging couples? They gave lessons about how to stimulate the clit. I hope I can remember these things if I ever find myself face to face with a clit again.

At least I could take a shower or two. I went to work today squeaky clean. I'm very happy to report that I returned tonight to a fully powered home. My old cat was only concerned with his daily portion of meat.

I don't know how Gilligan did it.



A brief note on showers:

The shower is perhaps the single most spectacular invention of modern human. I must have at least one a day. Two is even better. And if I can have conditioner along with my shampoo then I can believe in heaven on earth.

I am but a simple man.